Draft

- Draft

Written Apr 1, 2012 9:03am by Amber Gannon Medina

I can't quite describe how awful my stress hangover feels. I thought it would be somewhat gone by now. But I woke up this morning with a body that feels 80 and a mind that feels like jello. My brain doesn't quite work right and even writing this feels slow and muddled. I know I am going to sound like an a rambling fool-bear with me.

Mira's latest surgical ordeal is just too long and complicated and confusing to tell the whole story. Sometimes caring bridge is the only "journal" I have of our journey through this ordeal, so I thought I would try to pull the highlights (Ugh, "highlights" makes it sound like I am giving you the play by play from an awesome football game. Although, maybe that's OK because I have to say, Mira played her little heart out!).

1.I remember eating a lot of strange things during Mira's surgery on Tuesday. Salted chocolate, sesame chips, blueberries, cinnamon raisin bagel chips and finally Toppers Pizza.

2.Mira did well throughout the whole surgery, and right before she was supposed to come through the hallway (where we can say hi) there was a long break in updates from Briget. This did not seem like a good thing, and it wasn't. 

3.See #2-We've been able to say "hi" in the hallway when Mira's been transported from the OR to her room. This seems like a strange phenomena and its been strange for me. Mira looks so tiny and vulnerable on her bed and there are at least half a dozen people surrounding her bed-someone ventilating her, another person checking her vitals-and someone always says, go ahead and give her a kiss. And you have to lean over and not touch anything (not easy for a short person) and kiss her in the 1X1 inch area that isn't covered by something.....

4.Mira had a rough night that first night. Her pressures were so high (20's-30's) and its never until later that the nurses or doctors tell you what they were worried about. I found out later that they were worried Mira would need to go on ECMO (a type of support) or would have a stroke. I am glad I didn't know that at the time....But I also always second guess the doctors when they say things are going "OK"-what are they not telling me.

5. I thought the day after her surgery would be a little touch and go, but mostly recovery. Ha!! We called in that morning and were told she was going to have an ultrasound, an ECHO.....and then a cath and finally surgery. Ugh. Two open hearts in two days....

6. By the second day I thought I was not going to make it. The amount of energy it takes to fight the rising panic and stress of 2 surgeries in 2 days is huge. 

7.