Mira Diet

The Mira Diet

Written Nov 13, 2011 8:21am by Amber Gannon Medina

Last night John and my schedules worked out so that we could both spend time with Mira at the same time. It felt cozy to sit with her together and we had actual fun! She had her eyes open almost the whole time we were visiting, so much that she started to notice the stuffed animals I have been dancing across her crib. Her little legs were kicking, her eyes were watching us, her lips kept pursing and smacking and she practiced sticking her tongue out at us (I am sure this will be perfected by the time she is old enough to be seriously defiant!). Being the Mira that she is, she of course had to try and pull her ventilator out of her nose.....That seems like a common theme of hers and it makes us laugh.

She looked so well and so much like a healthy baby that I wanted to pick her up and take her home. Sometimes the desire, the urge to pick her up is so strong and so primal that its hard to shake. Its so difficult to let that rational part of my brain interrupt the part of me that thinks I can scoop her up and cuddle her. Of course, I logically know this would be disastrous, but my mom heart thinks she would be much happier and get better faster if she was cradled in my arms.

Mira is looking so good-low chest tube output, peeing well, being weened on her medications, excellent breathing on her own, SO SKINNY (Which means her edema is much much better). With all of this new found healthiness the doctors are talking chest closure either Monday or Tuesday. That is what they tell us, but I love how from the very beginning of Mira's journey the doctors seem to enjoy surprising us with when and what they are doing with her.

Whatever is decided, I trust that they will make sure Mira is ready for her chest to be closed. We have been warned the chest closure is dicey. Mira's chest is open now and so her heart does not have as much pressure weighing on it and her lungs have more room to expand. Once they close it, her heart and lungs will have less room to beat and expand and many times that is too hard on their bodies. Needless to say, I am excited about her being well enough for this to even be discussed and tentatively scheduled, but also very very nervous.

I imagined getting more used to this new life we are living-especially because we are at the month mark. I was prepared to already be in the swing of seeing her in the hospital every day, and I thought I would be more comfortable missing her when I was at home. Yet, for some strange reason, for me it is becoming more difficult. This marathon is feeling like it will never end. I just want her to be home.

And when there is that feeling you just can't do it anymore, God gives you what you need. Yesterday, I decided to run some much needed errands (like getting the shower handle we need so we didn't have to use the pliers to turn our water on anymore!) instead of going to the hospital. I was feeling so emotional and sad about everything and I admit I just wanted to hide. Yet, it felt good to get the things we needed to have in order to take care of ourselves.

It so happened that John's family came and visited and we went out to dinner. There was the first gift-I left dinner feeling much better (and with brownies from Jenny-double score)!

From there I went to the hospital and Mira was the best gift of all. She was so happy, and full of smiles and angelic peaceful looks on her face. She looked downright ecstatic. What a message from God that is for me-your daughter is laying there, with an OPEN chest and tons of tubes and IV's and she is HAPPY! She is so happy she is smiling in her sleep and waving her hands around and dreaming about really happy things. Mira, if YOU can do that, then I can too. 

When we got home we noticed a cooler on our porch and opened it only to find that my cousin Stefany had left the most amazing collection of home cooked goods for us. Stefany had driven up from IL just to drop off food that she had cooked for US. It blows my mind what everyone is doing for us. Again, if they can do all of this for us, I can be there and I can be happy for Mira. Don't get me wrong, it is a DAILY challenge, and a big one. But I really do think as soon as I feel like I can't do it, I receive these little (and not so little) gifts that make it possible.